i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
