Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Randomize
