I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Randomize
