Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
