Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
My ATM looks so different sober.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
