you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
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