ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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