They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Randomize
