I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Randomize
