I hate all girls vehemently.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
