you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
