Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Randomize
