Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
