So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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