how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
