roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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