dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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