Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
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