how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
