Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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