Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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