butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
