you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
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