i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
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