I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Randomize
