Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
