Michael Bay diarrhea
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Randomize
