The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
