you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
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