i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
