this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
