you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
