I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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