But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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