But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
What did we do last night that was yellow?
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
