I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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