we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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