Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
