the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
