mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Plan B is the new Plan A
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
well you can't waste a boner
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
