So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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