Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
