That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Randomize
