He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
