Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Holy sore nipples Batman
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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