Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
