People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Randomize
