I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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