Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
it's like iHOP with fire
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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