Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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