We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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