Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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